by Elder Larry R. Lawrence
Of the Seventy
Sunday Afternoon Session
I LOVE General Conference! I was so excited when my in-laws made a last minute visit on Conference weekend and brought tickets to a few sessions with them. I was not in the Conference Center for this talk but because I was in Salt Lake for the morning session (we had to leave really early) I have to admit I fell asleep during parts of the afternoon session and missed most of this talk.
After conference my sister and others told me that I would LOVE this talk so I had to read what I'd missed.
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“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (
Joshua 1:9).
"Imagine for a moment that your daughter was sitting on the railroad tracks and you heard the train whistle blowing. Would you warn her to get off the tracks? Or would you hesitate, worried that she might think you were being overprotective? If she ignored your warning, would you quickly move her to a safe place? Of course you would! Your love for your daughter would override all other considerations. You would value her life more than her temporary goodwill.
Challenges and temptations are coming at our teenagers with the speed and power of a freight train. As we are reminded in the family proclamation, parents are responsible for the protection of their children. That means spiritually as well as physically."
Sometimes parents have to take drastic measures to keep their children from getting derailed. A member of our Bishopric was giving a combined Sunday School lesson about safe guarding our children. A couple of his oldest children were choosing not to go on missions and then falling away so they made some drastic changes which affected the rest of their children in a positive way. As he said, "You have to invest the time and money to help our children have positive spiritual experiences."
"I am inspired every time I read these courageous words from Alma: “And now the Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good . . . ; therefore I command you, my son, in the fear of God, that ye refrain from your iniquities” (Alma 39:12). This early intervention by his father became a turning point for Corianton. He repented and served faithfully thereafter (see Alma 42:31; 43:1–2).
Contrast Alma’s example with that of another father from the scriptures, Eli in the Old Testament. Eli served as the high priest in Israel during the childhood of Samuel the prophet. The scriptures explain that the Lord rebuked him severely “because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not” (1 Samuel 3:13). Eli’s sons never did repent, and all of Israel suffered because of their folly. The story of Eli teaches us that parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them.
Several years ago at general conference, Elder Joe J. Christensen reminded us that “parenting is not a popularity contest.” In the same spirit, Elder Robert D. Hales has observed, “Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.”"
I got in a debate with someone a few years ago about what kind of things teenagers should be allowed to do or use. i.e. - cell phones, social websites
They were telling me that I just didn't understand because my kids weren't quite teenagers yet and that everyone does these things nowadays. My argument was - "What ever happened to being different?" When I was a teenager we knew that our rules were different than everyone else's because we had to make a stand. I know that I don't have all of the answers or do things perfect, but if we listen to the Spirit, make our own decisions and not base them on what everyone else is letting their kids do we will be way ahead.
"Young people understand more than we realize because they too have the gift of the Holy Ghost. They are trying to recognize the Spirit when He speaks, and they are watching our example. From us they learn to pay attention to their promptings—that if they “don’t feel good about something,” it’s best not to pursue it."
I liked this. He had a feeling that he shouldn't let his son do something and he didn't have a good reason why just that he didn't feel good about it. He was honest and his son understood. The son had probably been having a similar nudging from the Spirit.
"It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no."
In principle this is easy but it is often challenging to practice. It is however so important to be united as parents.
"Parents can prevent a lot of heartache by teaching their children to postpone romantic relationships until the time comes when they are ready for marriage. Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy. Satan knows this sequence and uses it to his advantage. He will do whatever he can to keep young men from serving missions and to prevent temple marriages.
It is vital that parents have the courage to speak up and intervene before Satan succeeds. President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”"
Sometimes parents tend to re-live their teenage years through their kids and maybe this is why they push relationships in kids so much. It is dangerous and much better for kids to just date a lot of different people and not date anyone exclusively.
The next block is a lot of really good stuff so sorry that this is getting so long.
"I have always believed that nothing really good happens late at night and that young people need to know what time they are expected to come home.
There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home. Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evening and to kiss them good night.
May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures. I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend. As a bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home.
Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.
Courageous parenting does not always involve saying no. Parents also need courage to say yes to the counsel of modern-day prophets. Our Church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes. Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child.
It takes courage to gather children from whatever they’re doing and kneel together as a family. It takes courage to turn off the television and the computer and to guide your family through the pages of the scriptures every day. It takes courage to turn down other invitations on Monday night so that you can reserve that evening for your family. It takes courage and willpower to avoid overscheduling so that your family can be home for dinner."
Parenting is hard and we weren't given a guidebook but through scriptures, prayer, modern day Prophets and Apostles, and the Holy Ghost as our guide we have many useful tools to help us on our journey.
